


Jumping Is Like Flying

by Sammys_Sunshine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 13:13:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10514472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammys_Sunshine/pseuds/Sammys_Sunshine
Summary: You feel like you don't fit into the family. You make a decision and the unexpected happens.





	

I sit, swinging my legs off the side of the vacant bridge. Not that anyone would notice me anyway. Dressed in all black with the hood of my sweatshirt pulled around my face, I blend in with the darkness. I laugh in a morbid way. How I managed to sneak away from two grown men, an angel and a freaking archangel is beyond me. But not really, they obviously don't care.  
"Excuse me, but are you okay?"  
A voice to my left scares the shit out of me and I almost fall. I whip my hood off and turn to the man standing on the other side of the rail. I give him a fake smile and nod.  
"I'm fine, thank you. I have four brothers, and I just need some time to think by myself."  
The man smiles back and leans over to pat my shoulder.  
"Just making sure you're not going to jump. Got a lot of people that do that here. Have a nice night and be safe."  
"You too."  
He walks past me, with a little dog that I can now see, and they too disappear into the blackness.  
I swing my legs just a little harder, bringing my ass off the cold cement a little farther each time. The man's kindness brings tears to my eyes and I feel bad for lying to him and probably disappointing him. The boys, all four of them, didn't do anything to cause this. They're all family and I just never fit into it. Gabriel never knew about my feelings for him and it's best that it stayed that way. Sam, Dean and Cas are the best friends I could've ever asked for. Even if we were all living off of stolen credit cards and hustling pool, I never wanted for anything. They took better care of me than my own family did. Headlights approach and my heart catches in my throat, fearing that it's the boys coming for me. I very carefully lay myself out along the length of the bridge, camouflaging into it. It's not the roar of the Impala, and as soon as it's gone, I sit back up. I don't know why I'm pretending to be relieved. I want them to find me, to tell me to stop and to come home. But I know it won't happen. I stand myself up, which was a big mistake, because the Impala does show up and it catches me in the headlights. I wave a goodbye at them as it screeches to a halt, and let myself fly. I hear howls of pain erupting from the men, screams of no and my name echoing into the night. I guess the angels weren't with them. I expect the collide with the icy water, but it still takes my breath away, resulting in me sucking some of it down. I can feel myself floating underneath the waves, and succumb to the cold.  
=======  
"GABRIEL!"  
"CAS!"  
The angels arrive almost immediately.  
"(Y/n) jumped!! She's in the water!"  
"We can't get to her!"  
Gabriel flies away before they finish speaking and Cas stays on the bridge next to the boys' feeling stunned. He never thought you would've done something like this. Dean paces, his hands roughly shoving through his hair. Sam grips the railing like it's the only thing keeping him from jumping over too. The minutes pass like hours while they wait for Gabriel to return with you, hopefully alive.  
=======  
Gabriel:  
I almost can't find her. She's moving too fast downstream and I'm flying as fast as I can to keep up to grab her. The river comes to a slower pace and I can finally dive in to pull her out. Her lips are blue and she's deathly pale. I pull us to the shore, the water making my wings wet and heavy. I drag her up to me, and hold her close. I push her hair away from her face and lay her down flat on her back. Placing my hands right above her heart, I push hard and send my grace into her at the same time.  
"Come on, (y/n)! Breath!"  
=======  
I float through the emptiness, not feeling the cold from the frigid water or the pain in my heart from not belonging. I catch a glimpse of something in front of me and I try focusing on it. Am I in Heaven or in Hell? Whatever I saw comes into view again, and I stare, almost willing it to get closer. It's a light and it gets bigger the closer I get to it or it gets to me. A gentle but commanding voice comes from it as soon as it reaches my size.  
"It is not your time yet. Your loved ones are waiting for you to return. Go now, (y/n), and live."  
No sooner than when the voice finished speaking, an inferno heat blooms in my chest and explodes.  
I jerk upwards from the ground, throwing up the water from my lungs. Hands are holding my hair back as everything comes up. Everything inside burns and I'm crying and panting. Strong hands are gripping my shoulders and I yank myself out of them, not knowing who the hell found me. They grip harder and I start to fight them, kicking and twisting myself as hard as I can.  
"Hey! Sweety it's me, Gabriel! Calm down! It's okay! I have you!"  
I freeze, suddenly fearing what he's going to say next. He pulls me into his lap, while snapping our clothes dry. I flinch away from him, and begin to shiver. I have so many emotions going through my head and all I want to do is disappear away from him. A blanket wraps itself around us, and bringing us closer together. I stop shivering but something else is causing us to shake. I'm sitting back to chest with Gabriel and I finally realize that it's him that's shaking. Is he crying? His head is resting on my shoulder, his face turned away from mine.  
"Gabe?" I nudge him. He nudges me back but not in a playful way. I move my shoulder forward, making his head drop. He looks at me, eyes rimmed red with fresh tears falling.  
"Why are you crying, Gabriel?"  
His eyes start glowing, going from dark honey to melted gold. He stands us both up, wrapping me in the blanket, and then cradles me in his arms bridal style. Momentarily dizzy as he flies us to the Impala, and almost falling on my face when he puts me on my feet. He catches me, still refusing to talk to me, and gets Sam, Dean and Cas's attention. The relief on their faces is overwhelming and I feel the walls around my heart crumbling, reality slapping me in the face of how much I really am a part of their family.  
"Don't fucking let her out of your sight," Gabriel snarls and vanishes with a snap.  
I stare at the ground, waiting for the explosion of emotion that I know is going to happen any second now.  
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Dean hollers at me. I look up at him to say something, but I can't. I just lower my head again.  
Cas stays silent, puzzled at Gabriel's outburst and not sure how to respond the the flurry of emotions running through him. Dean storms past me and slams the Impala's door, removing himself from the outside conversation. His beatings on the dash and steering can be heard and Cas heads his way to calm him down before he hurts himself. Sam's footsteps get closer and when he reaches me, he tilts my face up to him. The unshed tears in his eyes, causes releases of my own and I swallow hard, waiting for his outburst.  
"Why didn't you come to one of us?" His gentleness breaks my heart and I throw my arms around him and bury my face in his chest. He squeezes me tight to him and rubs my back.  
"I di-didn't, f-feel like p-p-p-part of-f the f-f-f-family, Sammy!"  
Sam releases a broken sob of his own and I cry harder.  
"I'm sorry! I-I can see now that I was wrong! Sammy, please forgive me!"  
His arms bring me into him even more, and we both hold on. I can both hear the Impala's doors opening and closing, and heavy feet approaching. Sam releases me and I turn around to Cas and Dean. Cas accepts me into a hug, sending some grace through, soothing me. He rubs my shoulders when I part from him and I tap one of his hands with one of my own. Dean's staring at me from farther away and as he starts walking to me, I starting running to him, and we collide in a sea of apologies. I didn't think I could cry anymore and yet more tears fall. He trembles and I lean up to kiss him on the cheek. One tear falls on my nose and I giggle at the feeling. A wet laugh comes from his chest and I know we'll be okay. He wraps an arm around me and we walk back to the Impala to go home. The ride back was quiet. I kept waiting for Gabriel to show up but he never did. We make it back to the bunker in one piece and I bid the boys good night. I leave my door cracked because I know they'll want to come and check on me throughout the night. I fall asleep rather quickly and have a peaceful night with no dreams.  
The next morning, I find Sam and Dean passed out on the couch I have in my room. They wake up hearing me shuffling around and both embrace me. I was truly stupid to think that I wasn't part of their family. They're my brothers and I wouldn't trade them for anything. We take the day off from hunting, and stay near each other all day and huddle together in Dean's room watching Netflix.  
The next few days pass by like that with only visits from Cas. Random candies are found around the bunker, along with (y/f/f) appearing next to my bed every morning. I feel like I've been forgiven but with Gabriel himself never appearing, it's still in the air as to how he feels about me.  
A week after I tried ending my life, I take up my morning jogs. The nature path wrapping around the bunker is my favorite one to run on. Gabriel and I would usually come out to the meadow, that's about halfway through the trail, when we wanted to talk. I slow down when I see a familiar figure sitting out in the open. I approach him from behind and I stop a few feet away. Gabriel gets up and pauses before facing me. He looks miserable. I know angels don't sleep but he looks like he hasn't gotten any if he did. I dig the toe of my shoe into the grass, not knowing what to say to him.  
"Still want to know why I was crying?"  
His smooth voice makes me jump a little, and I raise my head a little to look at him. He brushes his fingers through his hair and the sun shines around him like a halo.  
"Yes, Gabriel, I do."  
He sighs and holds a hand out to me. I take it, the tingles from our hands being together runs up my arm and makes me feel giddy. I clamp down on my emotions, not wanting to get my hopes up on the dream that Gabriel would return the same feeling. He squeezes my hand a little, and I crack a small smile.  
"When Sam and Dean screamed and prayed for us, I already knew you were gone. I could hear it. I could hear you finally accepting what you were doing. My heart shattered into pieces when I felt you hit the water. It was like Lucifer stabbing me with the blade all over again." He paused to let it sink in and I clenched my jaw, tired of crying from my own stupidity. "When I pulled you out of the water, I was so afraid that you were already gone. You were so frozen, but so limp at the same time that I thought I was too late. I put everything I had into bringing you back. But I felt my Father there with you too. I knew then that I wasn't going to lose you." He looks at me, his whiskey eyes boring down into mine. "When you asked me why I was crying, I couldn't believe it. I wanted to shout at you, shake you, do anything to get you to realized that you are loved. But, I didn't want to frighten you. So I took you back to the Winchesters' and my brother, and left you so I could calm down. I stayed close to make sure Dean-O didn't do something stupid to himself or any of you around him. When you confessed that you didn't come to any of us because you didn't feel like you were part of the family, it was the second time I had felt my heart hurt. Like you died all over again. The Winchester's love you. Cas loves you." He takes a deep breath and cups my cheeks in his hands. "I love you."  
Gabriel's statement frees my heart and I let him feel my deepest love for him. I let him see himself through my eyes and how much I adore him. I pour my heart out to him without saying a word, and it feels amazing. I didn't realize I closed my eyes so when I open them, I see his eyes glistening with unshed tears.  
"I love you too, Gabriel."  
I slowly bring my lips to his, and it's like the world around us explodes into light. We break from the kiss and Gabriel conjures a fluffy blanket for us to lay down on. We watch the clouds float across the sky and stay there past sunset.  
Gabriel reassures Cas that we are both all right and will return to the bunker soon. We walk back, holding hands and enjoying each others company. He opens the door for me when we get back, and we descend, holding hands again.  
The boys and Cas are standing at the bottom of the stairs. I look to Gabriel and just shrugs. I look back to them and Sam and Dean give me small smiles while Cas just stands there stoically. We reach them and they back up, giving us enough room to stand on the floor. Their hands are behind their backs and now I'm really curious.  
Sam brings his hands out in front of him first. He's holding a leather bound journal with my (y/i) carved into it.  
"For the monsters we hunt and the places we've been. Our dad and Bobby had one, so we figured you'd like one too."  
I accept it from him and thank him for it with a hug.  
Dean brings his hands in front of him next and reveals a plaid shirt in (y/f/c). I laugh a little and he does too.  
"Every Winchester wears plaid and you didn't have any."  
I give him a kiss as a thank you. I hand the journal to Gabriel so I can slip the plaid shirt over the one I'm already wearing and take it back from him.  
Cas shyly brings his hands around and he's holding a dream catcher. The circle is (y/f/c) and the webbing inside of it is a shiny silver. The fabric the feather are tied to are also (y/f/c). But the feathers themselves were beautiful. They were black and shiny and even turned into different shades when the light him them just right.  
"To keep your nightmares away. The feathers came from my own wings for protection."  
I'm speechless a his gift. Angel's wings are there most treasured feature and for Cas to literally give me a few of his feathers means a great deal. He smiles at me when he puts it in my hands and I give him an almost awkward one armed hug. I hug the journal and dream catcher to my chest and turn to Gabriel.  
He's holding a long slender box in his hands. He lifts the top of it off and slips it beneath the bottom. Nestled in black velvet rests a simple gold chain. A round pendant is attached with three golden wings sprouting out from the edges. The middle of the pendant glows a luminescent copper color. Gabriel removes it from it's box, that conveniently disappears, and slips it around my neck. I touch it as it lays against the bottom of my throat and its warm. I look curiously at him and he gives me my favorite smile.  
"It's crafted with my grace inside of it. So, when we're apart it'll feel like we're together. You'll only have to touch it to let me know when you need me and I'll be there."  
I'm overwhelmed with happiness and I cry happy tears. I gently bring Gabriel to my side and let myself be surrounding by the four wonderful men I have in my life. They are my family and I am theirs. Because Family Don't End in Blood.

**Author's Note:**

> Needed to write something when I was having one of those bad days and this is what came out. Leave a kudos or a comment down below. Thanks for reading. :)


End file.
